Hardest: The Clean Version
by 70sfan4life
Summary: What happens when Jackie takes drastic steps to change things? Can Hyde help her? Will he help her? And can Donna & Eric help their best friends get back to where they belong?
1. And so it begins

Just another angstly little fic to resolve the show. This version is rated T. There is a longer, MUCH more mature version also here…Don't own, don't copy, don't sue…..You know the drill. Let me know what you think…

A boy named Steven

A girl named Katherine

Two kids, one house. The perfect life. That's what she wanted. No, those were the details. There was only one thing that she wanted. Him. What could she do. What could she have done. Nothing.

She knew why he stayed with her. He wasn't Bud. He wasn't WB. But now wasn't the time to turn into Red either. Eternal devotion to a stripper. No. That wasn't him. She knew. She always knew, even if he didn't say it.

The thing with Sam hurt her badly. It wasn't supposed to be like this. The fantasy was becoming her reality. The only place where there wasn't pain. Where there wasn't the hurt, the agony of what her world had become. Because if he was into cheap, blonde sluts – he would have picked Laurie years ago.

So, as fast as she appeared, Sam was gone. And so was her love. Her life. Her future. Her hope. Fez had helped. Temporarily. He was a distraction. A diversion. A self-imposed fascination to try to make her fairy tale dreams come true.

She knew she shouldn't think this way. But it was too easy. She had been abandoned. Again. By her family, her friends, her love. So if this was all there was, she wasn't going to prolong the agony.

The first pill was the hardest to swallow…

Smoke & beer. That's what he knew. And rock-n-roll. And cheap, meaningless sex. This was his dream. Every man's dream. The fantasy was becoming his reality. What was he supposed to do, that girly crap. Only caused trouble, that's what he learned.

Okay, maybe not so true. He loved her. Still did. But this was easier. He'd been hurt too many times. By Edna, Bud, his family, his friends. His reality had been too much pain, too much abandonment, too much rejection. And if it didn't happen, he made it happen.

That's why he didn't stay in Chicago to hear her excuses. He had made an effort. He went to Chicago. And look what that got him. He lost his love, his friend, his future, his life. His hopes and dreams. The ones he didn't dare have. And if he did have them, he wasn't going to share them. Not with anyone.

Certainly not with Sam. His "wife" who destroyed all the hope. No. Blaming her wasn't right. Then he was like Bud. Making excuses. Once she had appeared, he had a choice. He thought he did what was right. Responsible. For once. But it wasn't right. Not for him, not for her. And then Sam was gone. And there were no excuses. No distractions. Just emptiness and rage. Rage for feeling, rage for caring, rage to hide the love.

The first drink was always the hardest to pour….

Donna sat on the porch of the house she knew so well. It was her second home. It was her love's home. Things had changed, but stayed the same. She and Eric had grown. Together, apart. But they had grown up. Okay, maybe not "up" but adults. She smiled, thinking to herself one sequel and it was 1977 again, with light sabers and death stars. But they were together. Not like their friends. The group was no longer a group. It was horrible.

Eric had come back. But what had he come back to. They talked about it. Almost as much as their future. How had things gotten so messed up…did she blame Eric for it? Because things certainly did get messy after he left. No, she didn't blame him. But it was the event that everything came back to. That awful day when he left for Africa.

She knew what had to be done. They all had to take their heads out of their asses. Or at least so Red could plant his foot firmly up all six of their asses. Some more than others….

She had the summer before they went back to Madison. Before it was too late. If it wasn't already. Eric would help. He always would help. Or he's cut off. And he wouldn't go for that. Not again.

The first step was going to be the hardest….


	2. What's going on

Donna entered the Forman kitchen like she had so many times before. Only Eric was at the table, having a snack. Some things will never change. If only they can get to being back…

"Eric" she said barely above a whisper. Donna leaned over and gave him a kiss. Strong. On the mouth. Hoping like hell she wasn't going to have to explain every detail in her plan to him. Hoping that he would agree.

"what's wrong" he knew that something had been troubling her since her semester break started. At first he thought it was just stress from finals. But it was something more.

"oh god, are you pregnant?"

"no, bite your tongue"

Eric tried not to be relieved, but the tension was broken by their laughter.

"Eric, we have to help them. We can be supportive and just sit here. But we'll watch our two best friends destroy themselves."

"Donna, I'm not sure that we can do anything. This time, it might really be over"

"Did you think that when I went to California?"

"Yeah"

"And what did you do. You had to do something. You knew you had to do something. But it was our friends that helped you get there. To save us. But now, we're all they have left. So if we don't do something, aren't we just saying goodbye to them too. I don't think they can survive without the other one."

"You know this isn't going to be easy"

Donna smiled, knowing that he was going to agree to help reunite Jackie & Hyde. "Nothing worth having ever is"

Eric walked over to his lifelong love and slowly put his arms around her. "I know we have to help them. Ultimately, it's their decision. But they belong together. And I'm worried about them. Hyde's drinking himself into…Bud. And Jackie…"

"When do we start"

Jackie searched her bag for the envelope she knew was in there. She saw the thirty or so pills that she had bought earlier that day. She wasn't sure that she'd have the courage to do this on her own…so she picked up the phone and dialed a number she had memorized so many years ago.

The phone ran in the basement. Hyde had staggered home a few minutes ago. His latest fling was not with him. Fling. Might be too strong of a word he thought. Oh well. It was better than. Oh, who was he kidding, nothing in this was good and he was alone tonight.

He picked up the phone in order to make the infernal ringing stop. He was just about to hang up when he heard a soft voice on the other end. A voice that sent a dagger through his already broken heart.

"Hi"

Hyde closed his eyes. He didn't need this now. Not tonight. He was going to have those dreams again. The ones where they were together. And the ones where she's taken from him. Driven away. Like how he drove her away. Pushed. To save himself. To save her. Loving her from a distance was safer. Miserable, lonely, horrible, but safer. The only one that hurt was himself. And he was used to that.

"what do you want Jackie, I've had a long day"

he heard a sniffle on the other line. Crap, he thought. She's crying. Again. I'm not going to do anything. I've done that.

"Is Donna there?"

"Probably, I just got home and I'm not running all over to find her & Forman doing the deed"

"Okay. Well when you see her, tell her I called"

"Whatever" Talking to her only made things worse.

"Goodbye Steven" She hung up the phone. She knew what she was going to do now. She lined up all of her pills and swallowed them, with a vodka chaser. She arranged everything in her apartment so that it would be easy to remove later. With her body, she thought. She looked at the picture of the two of them together that she had kept by her bed for so many years and placed it next to the note she had written that afternoon. Saying goodbye.

She was starting to get sleepy….and then the pain would be gone

He didn't like her tone. He didn't like the tears AND the tone. Something was different; something was wrong. And it wasn't the normal wrong. It was really wrong. He wondered if he could find Donna. She could see what was going on with her. If she was okay. No, he can't still care. Caring is the problem. Loving is the problem. Oh hell, he wasn't going to get any sleep now as it was. He started up the stairs to find Donna. So she can check on his doll……


	3. Lost

Hyde came up the stairs to the kitchen. His buzz was quickly leaving him. Oh well, he thought…I'll fix that with some film later. He found Eric & Donna in the kitchen, making some cookies. And looking too damn cute. It was always too easy for them. Not like him & his doll…

"Hey Hyde, want some of these" Eric looked at his friend thinking, man, how am I going to even bring Jackie up. It wasn't exactly his favorite topic of conversation and now he was going to do something nice. For the devil.

"Sure" Hyde grabbed three cookies and went over to the fridge to grab a beer. They were out of beer. He must have drank that earlier. Whoops. Have to remember to replenish the supply before Red had a fit. He grabbed a pop instead.

"What's going with you two tonight? Staying in to see if you can turn Forman into the Pillsbury Dough Boy?" The sarcasm would never leave him as he took his regular seat at the kitchen table. But he came up here for something else. "Oh, Donna. Jackie called before. She, um, was looking for you. It sounded important. Something about her hot rollers and your record collection…" That should do it. Not let on that he's concerned but get her over there just the same.

"She'd do it too. Oh God, what if I'm too late…..Eric, I'll see you later. Bye Hyde" Donna grabbed her coat and ran out the side door, but not before looking at Eric with a gentle nudge to use this natural opening to start things with Hyde. He nodded in response.

Eric sat down at the table across from Hyde. "So, you talked to Jackie?"

"Forman, don't."

"Why not. When I left, you were going to propose. Now, you guys barely speak."

"I wasn't going to propose. I was going to tell her we were going to get married"

"What's the difference?"

"Proposing is immediate. Getting married is more vague. Gives you more time"

"Not really"

"Maybe not. but it would have given me more control of the situation"

"Is this what this is about. Control? Hyde, part of loving someone is giving yourself over to someone. Not just acting for yourself."

"I know. And look where that got me. Chicago, Sam, losing Jackie."

"You still love her, don't you?"

"I never told you that."

"You don't have to. If you really wanted her gone, no matter what you've said, you would have left town. You never left. You tried to drive her away, treated her like crap, married a stripper, slept with everything with a heartbeat, drank yourself silly all in an attempt to either driver her away or make her go away. But you wanted her to fight for you two. And the only thing that's happened is that you both are miserable."

"I'm not miserable; just more pissed off"

"Remember who you're talking to. You're a good guy Hyde. You hate it when people remind you of this, but you are. You got a job to help my family after they took you in, you dried Jackie's tears & took her to the prom, stood up for Fez when he was getting beat up by the football team, you pulled the fire alarm all night to keep Donna from sleeping with Casey, You stood up to Kelso when he wasn't doing right by Brooke. And you would have done anything, including shaving the beard, for Jackie."

"you make me sound like a boy scout. And I'm not a boy scout."

"no matter what delinquent crime you've pulled, it never really hurt anyone. You're incapable of hurting someone. Unless you're trying to protect them. Or yourself. That's what you've been doing. You don't think you can get her back, so you keep pushing her away."

"Thanks for the news flash, Phyllis Donohue." Hyde paused. "Thanks"

"well, someone has to help get your head out of your ass. I'm amazed Grooves is still open as far as you've had that shoved up there"

"Watch it, or you're going down afterschool special boy"

"Make me orphan boy"

The boys begin to play fight in the kitchen. Kitty & Red come in after hearing all the commotion from things hitting the floor.

"Glad to see things are starting to get back to normal around here"

"Do I need to find an eye patch? No, that would be if Michael is here"

The phone rings and Kitty goes over to answer it. "Donna, sweetie, what's wrong? Do you want to talk to Eric…..um"

Kitty goes completely white. Eric & Hyde stopped fighting and walk towards the phone upon hearing Kitty trying to comfort Donna. Red places his hand on Kitty's shoulder.

"Calm down sweetie. We'll meet you there. You did the right thing. Just wait now for the ambulance" Kitty slowly hangs up the phone and turns to look at the men in her life.

"Red get the car. We're going to the hospital." She looks at Red and then at Hyde. Red seems to understand and goes to get his keys from the living room and goes to the car.

"Mom, what's wrong? Is Donna okay"

"She's upset honey. She just found Jackie"

Hyde looks confused. "Jackie…what does this have to do with Jackie"

Kitty looks at Hyde, knowing that her next sentence will change his already troubled life. "Steven, Jackie tried to kill herself. Donna found her. The ambulance is on it's way and we're meeting them at the hospital."

"Wha…how…I just talked to her"

"I don't know honey, we just have to get there. We'll know more then."

Hyde runs out the side door after Red.

"Oh my god, mom"

"I know honey…I know" Kitty pats Eric on the shoulder grabs her purse and they take off out the door after Red & Hyde.

_Point Place Hospital Emergency Room – 2 hours later_

Donna had been crying for hours. She kept thinking back to how she was worried about her records and stormed into Jackie's apartment. Such a petty, little, unimportant thing. And how she couldn't find Jackie. And then how she opened the door. Seeing the midget all laid out there, with her stuffed animals, like a scared little girl. How she tried to shake her to get her to come out of it. How Jackie mumbled Hyde's name and was so limp. And then she saw the note. She was so upset, she could barely dial the phone for the ambulance.

Donna looked at Hyde. "She never said anything about my records did she"

Hyde didn't say anything. He hadn't said a word since they got there and were told to sit and wait for an update on Jackie's condition.

"How did you know she was in trouble? Did she say something?"

"Whatever"

"God, now is not the time for Zen, Hyde"

"Whatever, that's what I said to her. The last thing I said…"

"Hyde you can't think you did this to her"  
"Oh, I think I can"

"Hyde, Jackie has been through a lot in her life. She'll get through this"

"Spare me the lecture Forman, you covered that earlier"

"Hyde, Jackie wrote a note before…she…I found a note. I think you should read it"

"Donna, now might not be the time for Hyde to read this"

Hyde took the letter from Donna's hand; it was crumpled, but it was pink. Like how her cheeks were during the winter. Pink. Her color.

Hyde walked to the corner of the waiting room and tucked the note into his coat pocket. He couldn't read that now. He needed to know she was okay first. That his little doll was okay. Those lashes framing those mismatched eyes that were so full of life. So full of love for him. Hyde shut his eyes at the painful memory and wondered if he'd ever see that look again. She had to make it through, she had to. He couldn't imagine life without her. Ever.

Just then, a doctor entered the waiting room "Is someone here for Jacqueline Burkhardt?"


	4. Found

"Is there anyone here for Jacqueline Burkhart?" The doctor's voice rang through the hall and the half filled waiting room. Kitty stood up and told the doctor "We are" as Eric, Donna, Red and Hyde moved closer to hear the update.

"She's very lucky that she was found so quickly. We were able to pump her stomach, but the next 24 hours will be critical to see how many pills did affect her systems."

"Can we see her?"

"Not quite yet. She's unconscious still…and she's still intubated because of her size"

"What do you mean?"

"In order to save her life, we had to pump her stomach. And because she's so tiny, it did some temporary damage to her esophagus…her throat. So, she still has a tube down her throat to help her breathe. She couldn't talk to you right now. She won't be able to talk for a few days. Right now, we have to be concerned about permanent organ damage. We're keeping her lightly sedated in order to keep her comfortable."

"How long does she have to stay here?"

"Most suicide attempts we keep for a mandatory three days. After that, it's really up to the patient and their families to see where things go from there. This case is a little different. You should all go home tonight and get some rest. Miss Burkhart will be here tomorrow. She won't know you are even here tonight." Kitty thanked the doctor, who left to monitor Jackie's vitals.

Red left to get the car and bring it to the entrance. They were all tired. Kitty checked with the nurses she knew to inform them that Jackie was like a member of her family and they should call her if anything changed during the night and that she should get extra special care.

Donna and Eric looked at Hyde. He hadn't moved since the doctor left. He didn't speak, nothing.

"Come on Hyde, let's go home"

"I'm not leaving"

"You heard the doctor"

"Yeah, I heard the doctor. And you heard me. I'm not leaving"

Eric and Kitty left to go meet Red at the car. Donna gestured that she wanted to talk to Hyde for a moment and she would join them in a minute.

"I didn't tell them she left a note" Hyde looked at Donna, confused. "The ambulance workers. I didn't tell them she left a note. "

"Did you read it?"

"Yeah, and I think you should. You need to. For both your sakes. It's not addressed to anyone….so….don't think I was….prying"

"I wouldn't. She tells you everything anyway." Hyde said with a smirk.

"She used to Hyde. I wasn't there for her either. None of us were. We didn't know how bad she was hurting. I blame myself just as much as you…"

"No. You don't get to do that. This is my fault. More than anyone's."

"You don't get to blame yourself for this either, you selfish pig. Fine, if you want to stay here, fine. But do all of us a favor. Read that note. Because you don't get to play the victim here and monopolize the guilt. There's enough of that to share. I was so wrapped up in Eric and Randy and Sam for that matter, I abandoned my best friend. When she needed me the most." Donna was crying now. Hyde hadn't seen Donna cry in years. He tried to move towards her, but she stopped him.

"Jackie's had a hard life too Hyde. Her dad's still gone and her mom left her when things got tough. We were all she had…so yeah, you need to get your head out of your ass about her, but you're not the only one."

"Donna, I don't know where to start."

"Start by reading Jackie's note." Eric had come back to get Donna and they moved towards the elevator together. "She still loves you" Donna murmured as the doors shut.

Hyde was stunned. He reached into his pocket, fingering the pink paper Donna had given him earlier. He pulled it out of his jacket. He couldn't do that here. He had to see her first. To know that she was going to be okay. That she was going to live. He never wanted anything awful to ever happen to her. Hyde looked around the corner and started down the hallway towards Jackie's room.

The good thing about hospitals, was that in the early morning, no one was around. Hyde was grateful. He was going in there, no matter what. He'd never been that determined in his life about anything. But no one was going to stop him from seeing her.

It didn't prepare him for what he saw though. After Hyde had found her room, and had entered the tiny hospital room, he couldn't have imagined what he saw before him. Jackie, in a hospital bed. Her long dark hair, usually so perfect was matted flat against her head and shoulders. The hospital gown covered her tiny body, but it was obvious that a struggle to save her life had placed those wrinkles and spots on the horrible patterned dressing. Her tiny arms were connected to an iv, trying desperately to make her well again. Her makeup was gone. Her eyes were closed, but it was her mouth that nearly took his breath away. And not for any of the good reasons it used to. Seeing the breathing tubes, the oxygen being piped into her body was so horrible. Where there once was so much life, was obviously so much pain.

Hyde walked over to her bed and pulled up a chair to sit next to her. Her lips connected to that tube. Those strawberry lips that used to be connected to him….oh god, how had things gone so wrong. His tiny doll was so battered, and in so much pain. He gently picked up Jackie's hand in his. It was warm, but so cold because there wasn't any life in them. Her delicate, tiny hands…

And with that, Steven Hyde began to cry…..He cried like he'd never cried before. Not when Bud left, or his mom, or any other time.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. Really sorry. About everything"

_7am Forman residence_

The phone rang, giving everyone a start. Breakfast was being eaten in silence; no one knew what to say after the late night before.

Eric & Red held their breath as Kitty went to get the phone. Donna had just came in as the phone rang.

"That was the hospital. I have to go"

"Is is Jackie?"

"No, but I'll be back" Kitty left, knowing what she had to do.

_7:15 Point Place Hospital_

"We didn't know what else to do, but we had to do something before rounds…."

Kitty had thanked the staff for calling her and she walked the halls she knew so well towards the tiny room where Jackie was. She opened the door and saw her second son, sleeping in a chair, next to Jackie. He was still holding her hand. Kitty was sure he'd been doing that all night. She smiled to herself. Now the hard part, getting him out of here……


	5. Hyde Reads Jackie's note

Kitty looked at Hyde sleeping next to Jackie. It was so heartbreaking. This tiny little girl, who had been through so much, and Steven, who loved her so. She always knew he did. Even before he did. They had a volatile relationship. But behind their greatest fights, was always great love & passion. But Kitty knew she had to get Hyde out of the room before he was banned from the hospital.

"Steven, honey, wake up. You need to get out of here before rounds. I'll take you home."

"I'm not leaving."

"Steven, I'm not kidding here. When the doctors come around, you need to be out of this room. And you could use some rest. And a shower."

"What if she wakes up when I'm not here. I don't want her to be alone."

"Honey, she'll be out for a while yet. You have some time. Some time to get yourself together. For Jackie. She'll need you later, you can't help her if they kick you out of the hospital"

"I'd sneak back in"

"Now is not the time for being a criminal. Or stubborn. Or being a porky mouth. And if you bothered to take your head out of your ass for a minute you'd see that." Kitty paused for a moment, because she didn't mean to yell at Hyde.

"I'll stay here until you come back. Will that help?"

"yeah." That would be okay. Mrs. Forman would tell him what was going on. He could trust her.

Trust. One of his biggest problems.

Hyde looked at Jackie's still unconscious body and thanked Kitty for staying with her. He took his coat and drove back to the basement and the tiny room that was his bedroom. So many memories in that room. The whole house, really.

After showering and changing clothes, Hyde stared at his jacket. He wanted to read her note, but there was no going back after that. His life had already changed the minute that Jackie entered that hospital, and he knew he wouldn't be the same again. If Jackie didn't make it, his life was over. He wasn't going to be able to forgive himself, either way. Hyde thought back to what Forman had said to him, right before they got the call about Jackie.

"_You still love her, don't you?"_

"_I never told you that."_

"_You don't have to. If you really wanted her gone, no matter what you've said, you would have left town. You never left. You tried to drive her away, treated her like crap, married a stripper, slept with everything with a heartbeat, drank yourself silly all in an attempt to either driver her away or make her go away. But you wanted her to fight for you two. And the only thing that's happened is that you both are miserable…You're incapable of hurting someone. Unless you're trying to protect them. Or yourself. That's what you've been doing. You don't think you can get her back, so you keep pushing her away."_

And Hyde couldn't help thinking about what Donna had said to him right before she and Forman left the hospital.

"_Start by reading Jackie's note…She still loves you" Donna murmured as the doors shut_

Hyde swallowed hard and reached into his pocket, grabbing the pink note that, if he allowed himself, smelled like lavender. And he began to read…

_To Whom It May Concern:_

_If you're reading this, you know what I've done. I couldn't take it anymore. I've never liked being alone, and well, this is about as alone as it gets. I never wanted to hurt anyone and by doing this I don't mean to hurt you. I've always loved my friends; you've been my family. More than my blood family. I just can't continue to keep living this way._

_Mr. & Mrs. Forman: Thank you for making your home such a wonderful place to be. So loving and so welcoming. Please don't let your grandchildren forget me. Otherwise, they'll be skinny Star Wars freaks or sluts but either way, they won't have a fashion sense. I'll always be grateful for your help in my life._

_Fezzy: Thank you for all your years of adoring me. I'm sorry things didn't work out between us, but I have always treasured your friendship and loyalty. I hope you find happiness. You deserve it._

_Eric: Welcome back twizzler! I wish I could be there for when you finally marry Donna. She's too good for you, but you make her happy. I don't get it, but always know that your love is eternal. And you belong together. Thank you for always being my friend – even though you think I'm the devil. Take care of Donna and Steven. You're like his brother. He needs you._

_Michael: Thank you for being my first love. I hope your daughter grows up to know what a fine father she has. You make sure you do right by her or I'll haunt you from beyond. You know I can do that. You're a good man, Michael. Don't let me down._

_Donna: My favorite lumberjack. My best friend. You & your dad took me in when I was so alone. Your friendship always meant so much to me, even when you didn't know it. Or I was driving you crazy. But I always admired you, because you were respected for being yourself. And you tried to hold on to your beliefs. Be happy with Eric. Please don't let Steven blame himself for this. I know he'll try. Look after him; invite him over for holidays. Include him in your lives. He's always been alone too. _

_Steven: My darling. Puddin' Pop. I can't believe it's come to this. I forgive you for everything. I could never hate you. I mean, I hate what you do sometimes, but not you. I love you. I've always loved you. Even when I was with Michael. I know that now. We had a connection that was always there. It will always be there. Carry me in your heart. I will never leave you. It was too painful to see what we'd become to each other. We're both responsible for what happened between us. But you are not responsible for this. This was my decision. I want you to be happy. I just wish I was the one who could have given you the home that you've searched for. The life you wanted, but didn't dare dream about. I'm so tired. I just can't fight anymore. Please forgive me for doing this. You are a good person. Please don't forget that. Or me._

Hyde put the letter down. It had taken him three attempts at reading it in order for him to finish it. They were all so stupid. And he was the most stupid. How could he have ever thought that getting away from her would help. Why didn't he fight for her? Why did he give up so easily? Why didn't he do anything? She was worth it. More than worth it. She had fought for them for so long, until she couldn't fight anymore. She was everything to him. And now…

He never thought she'd forgive him. He was too scared to even consider the possibility of her forgiving him. He was angry at himself for not doing what he wanted after Sam left. To go to Jackie and try to explain why he did what he did. He was too afraid. Now he might lose her totally. The pain of not being with her was one thing. The pain of her not living was worse. So much worse. He couldn't even imagine a world where her sparkling smile wasn't in it. Even when she was mad at him. The fire that raged in her eyes always had so much life in it. What if she was losing her life? What if she did this again? He couldn't take that thought. As hard as the next few hours were going to be, he knew what he had to do. He grabbed his coat and took off out of the basement for the hospital…


	6. Can he still reach her?

_As hard as the next few hours were going to be, he knew what he had to do. He grabbed his coat and took off out of the basement for the hospital…_

Jackie's hospital room

Hyde gently pushed open the door to the room he last saw his doll in. There hadn't been any change. And Kitty was still there, like she promised.

"Steven, the doctor was here and they're easing back on Jackie's medicine. She should be coming out of this soon, and then they will be able to tell what other things she may need. So, we have to watch her closely. It will be very difficult for her to wake up with a tube down her throat, if no one is here to help explain it to her."

"I'll be here"

"Okay, honey" Kitty wasn't sure if Hyde being there was the best idea. But she knew him well enough not to argue with him on this. She just hoped that Jackie would react well to seeing him there when she woke up.

Kitty started for the door. "I'll let Eric & Donna know what's happening. I'm sure they'll want to be here when she wakes up."

"She's really going to wake up?"

"Yes, Steven. She's really going to wake up. Do you know what you're going to say to her when she does?"

"Yeah, I know." Hyde had been pursing his lips, but after he told Kitty that he knew what he was going to say to Jackie, he reversed it. Kitty knew that he was trying to hold it together, so she dropped the issue and left the room.

Hyde pulled up a chair to Jackie's bedside and gently took her hand in his. It seemed warmer than it was yesterday, he thought. He also thought she looked like she had a little more color in her face. She was still ghastly pale, but Hyde thought he saw some pink in those cheeks.

Pink. It reminded him of her note. The one where she told him that she still loved him. Forgave him. For everything.

"Oh doll, I wish it hadn't been like this. To get me to understand. To know how you feel. About us. I would do anything to take away your pain. Come on babe, open those eyes." Hyde looked anxiously at Jackie's face. Still nothing, so he continued talking. He'd seen that work on TV before.

"I'm not groveling until you open those eyes. I want to make sure that you hear every word I say. You need to hear every word. And believe it. You just need to open your eyes. I'll do the talking. Come on, how many times am I going to offer to do that? I'll do it for a lifetime, just open those eyes."

He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw a flutter of lashes that time. Maybe it was his imagination. But he couldn't take that chance. Hyde began talking faster, and with more urgency in his voice.

"Baby, I'm here. You're okay, it's all going to be okay. Jackie, I love you. I've been a fool. Okay, I've been a dumbass. Guess Forman really gave me the title when he left. Well, it's time to give it back. I'm not using it anymore. I'm here. Just squeeze my hand, just a little bit."

And that time, it wasn't Hyde's imagination. Jackie's tiny hand started to twitch in his. Then the fingers started flexing and wrapping around his fingers. Like the perfect fit they used to be.

He couldn't help himself now. No matter how lame he sounded, she was coming back. To life. And hopefully, to him.

"Baby….Jackie….doll. I'm here. Your puddin' pop is here."

He looked at her face. Slowly. Ever so slowly. But it was happening. Jackie's eyelashes flittered. First just a twitch. Then halfway, then back down again. Then they opened. For real.

Hyde kicked the chair back so he could move up by Jackie's head. Without letting go of her hand, he carefully turned Jackie's beautiful face towards his. So she could see that he was there.

"It's okay Jackie, Don't try to talk, there's a tube in your throat. I'm here. You're at the hospital. You're going to be okay." Hyde closed his eyes and silently thanked a god he wasn't sure existed for bringing her back. He couldn't help it, a tear came down his cheek. When he opened his eyes, and he looked into Jackie's mismatched eyes, he saw the tears in her eyes beginning to brim. And he knew that she had seen his.

"I love you Jackie" He pressed the button near Jackie's bed for the nursing station. Anxiously calling into it, Hyde yelled "Miss Burkhart's awake. Please hurry" He looked back down at Jackie and brushed away her tears that were coming down both of her cheeks.

"They'll be here soon. I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you. Not this time. Not anymore. Not while there's a breath in my body. This time, I'm fighting. For you, for me, for us. Now blink if you understand me…"

Jackie closed her eyes and then opened them. Never taking her eyes off of Hyde's face. He looked so tired, she thought. She wondered if she was dreaming. She was hearing all these things coming out of her Steven's mouth. Things she ached for so long to hear. Maybe she was dead, and this was what heaven was. But if she was dead, she was pretty sure that she would be able to talk. Some things just went on into the afterlife and her ability to talk would probably be one of them. So she figured she wasn't dead.

Now, all she had to do was figure out if she was dreaming.

The next few minutes were filled with commotion in Jackie's room. Doctors and nurses came flying in and out of the room. It took almost a Herculean effort on their part to get Hyde to back away enough for them to examine Jackie. But he stayed within her eyesight the entire time. The tube was removed from Jackie's throat and a nurse brought in some ice chips to start soothing the pain and rehydrating her throat. Hyde picked up the container and slowly began feeding the chips to Jackie.

"Mmmmm" That was the best noise he'd ever heard. Hyde couldn't believe how happy a _sound_ could make him. And it didn't even have anything to do with sex.

"Does that help?" He smiled, getting another spoonful of chips ready to give Jackie. She nodded. She couldn't believe that he was there. With her. Feeding her ice chips.

"Steven…" Jackie wasn't sure if she was talking above a whisper it hurt so badly.

Hyde leaned forward and placed a finger over Jackie's dry mouth. "shh, baby. Don't try to talk yet. I know that's hard for you. We've got a lot to talk about. But we don't have to do that yet. We've got time. I just want you to focus on getting better right now. And I'm not leaving."

Slowly, the corners of Jackie's mouth began to turn upwards, into a smile. Her Steven was back. As she got another spoonful of ice chips fed to her, Jackie noticed that Hyde was starting to smile too.


	7. Awake

Hyde had finished giving Jackie her ice chips and went to get her some magazines from the hospital gift shop. On his way there, he met Eric & Donna in the hallway.

"Hey buddy, you taking a break?"

"She's awake"

Donna looked at Eric and he smiled at her. Donna gave him a quick kiss and took off for the elevator to see Jackie. She could use a moment alone with her best friend. Just like she knew Eric could.

"I'm glad she's awake, Hyde"

"Forman, remember when you were in Africa and you broke up with Donna because you thought that was the 'right' thing to do."

"Unfortunately, I do."

"And you didn't know when you would see her again"

"Please tell me you have a point…I've been nice lately"

Hyde was perusing the magazines while he talked, looking for something that he thought Jackie would like. "Imagine that feeling, except instead of not knowing _when_ you weren't going to see her again, you _weren't_ going to see her again. Ever. You'd never hear her voice or get her hair caught in your mouth when you're sleeping"

"That was only one time"

"Focus, Forman!"

Eric smiled at his slightly frazzled friend, who he knew had been through a lot in the past 24 hours.

"I get what you're saying. I can't imagine what you've been through. So, you guys are back together?"

"Yes….well, no….but….I don't know"

"Can I suggest not using that phrase with regard to Jackie?"

Hyde laughed. "Yeah, not the best choice of words. She just got the tube out of her throat, so we haven't really talked. Not like we need to. That would be a little challenging at this point." He found a _Vogue_ and headed towards the counter.

"Any conversation with Jackie is challenging"

Hyde frogged Eric in the arm. "What I mean is, we haven't been able to talk about what happened. What will happen…But I covered the basics with her. She knows how I feel. And that things are going to be different now. Better. For both of us."

"I don't want to bring you down, but there are probably a lot of reasons that Jackie did what she did. And those reasons were more than your breakup."

"I know what you're saying. 'Don't think that us getting back together will fix _everything.'_ I've thought the same thing. I know she probably has. But the other stuff, I know that. The parent thing, the alone thing. _**That**_ I get. What's different is that I'm not…This time I'm going to do the girly crap. Whatever it takes. This isn't about building walls anymore. It's about tearing them down."

"Forget Oz man, you went and had your heart grow three sizes too big, like the Grinch"

Hyde smirked "I know, Red's gonna kill me."

"Nah, he likes Jackie. He'll be proud of you….again….Crap"

"We should get back there. Jackie still can't talk much and Donna can't carry on much of a conversation without Jackie trying to pipe in about something. It'll drive them both nuts."

"Sounds like a plan."

_Meanwhile, in Jackie's hospital room…._

Donna was so happy to see her friend alive and sitting up that she actually "hugged and jumped" Jackie when she entered the room. None of the other gang saw it, so she didn't think she'd have to hear about it for the rest of her life. Although, Jackie _did_ seem to have a particular gleam in her eye. Oh who cares, she has a gleam back in her eye, Donna thought. After exchanging pleasantries, Donna knew what she had to say.

"Jackie, I want to apologize to you."

Jackie grabbed Donna's hand and squeezed it. Very softly, she whispered "you don't have to"

"Oh yes I do. And I would have to, even if we weren't in a hospital….I wasn't there for you. I was so wrapped up in my own crap that I didn't see how bad you were hurting. How I was just a…I'm sorry Jackie. I'm sorry for everything."

Jackie leaned forward and hugged her best friend. No matter what she said, she needed to hear those words from her. After struggling to get by for so long alone, she needed to hear the words. Forgiveness was easy. Living was the hardest.

Just then, Hyde & Eric returned to the hospital room.

"Now this is interesting"

"Yeah, is this the 10:30 show, or do we have to come back later."

"Skeevie Pigs"

Everyone was laughing. Eric came over and gave Jackie a hug and then put his arm around his fiancé. It had been a while since they'd been this happy. Took near tragedy to do it. They really did need to communicate better.

Eric watched as Hyde slipped gently behind Jackie on the bed. His arms gently circled her waist, as he'd seen them do so many times before. Jackie leaned back into his arms and closed her eyes. Just that little exchange was so intimate, that Eric felt that they were intruding on some of their personal time. Eric remembered his conversation from earlier with Hyde, and gently nudged Donna towards the door.

"Hey, we'll come back later. You could probably use some rest"

"Thanks." Hyde looked at his friends and smiled at the gesture. As the door closed, Hyde leaned back on the bed, pulling Jackie with him. Soon, they were curled up together, like they always did when they were sleeping. His arms around her. She nestled against his chest, loving every breath they took together. Together.

"I love you" Jackie murmured

Hyde gently kissed the top of Jackie's head "I love you too"

They could talk in a while; right now, they both needed this.


	8. Going Home

She was going home today. She had been in the hospital for seven days. Two shouldn't have counted; she was so out of it. Five days of crappy food and bad clothes, but she was going home.

Where was home? The apartment, the basement? She wanted to get out of the hospital, but she wasn't entirely sure what was next.

"Miss Burkhart?"

Jackie turned around to see a young woman standing in her doorway. She was older than Jackie, but younger than Mrs. Forman. "Yes?"

"Before you are discharged, the hospital usually has me meet with patients who have been through similar situations."

"You're a therapist…"

"Yes, do you have a problem with meeting with me?"

"No, I just want to go home"

"Sometimes people who have been through a suicide attempt don't want to leave the hospital. They're often afraid that what drove them to try to take their life will do it again. So they want to stay."

"You don't understand, everything that was upsetting me is okay now."

"From what I've reviewed in your files, that could change."

"What!"

"Miss Burkhart, I can't make you stay here. But the problems you had before are still there."

"No, everything's different. You don't understand."

"So, your dad's out of prison, your mom is sober and taking care of you at your home, your ex-boyfriend didn't run off with another woman and your friends are being supportive of you now. You have a successful career and know how you're going to be spending the next few years of your life?"

"Bitch" Jackie angrily spat at the woman. She should be grateful she doesn't kick her ass.

"What I mean is…"

"No, you don't understand. Things are different. Donna's apologized and Steven & I have…"

"You're back together?"

"Well, yeah……I guess…..we haven't really discussed it yet…"

"Don't you think you should?"

"Listen ugly girl, I know he told me he loves me. And that he's not leaving me ever again. And he's going to fight for us, not drive me away."

"Well, I'm happy for you. Now what are you going to do after the guilt wears off."

"Huh"

"The people who are left behind when someone tries to take their life often feel guilty and make promises if someone survives."

"Yeah, I know they feel guilty. But you don't know my friends. They don't apologize just for the hell of it. You have to really work to earn their apologies. Their trust. Their friendship. And as for my relationship with Steven, no, we haven't exactly talked about EVERYTHING. I had a tube down my throat and couldn't speak well for days. But we're going to be there for each other. Take things slow. And I'm going ask for help from people instead of trying…"

The woman smiled at Jackie. "That's what I wanted to hear."

"I'm confused. You pissed me off and I called you a bitch"

"If you hadn't, you wouldn't be ready to go home yet. Here's my card, if you ever want to see me for an appointment, just call. I know you're going to discuss things more, but I'm here. Just the same."

With that, the therapist left Jackie her card and left the room. God, did that woman piss her off. But she was right about a couple of things. She was the one that had to change things inside herself. She knew she had Steven, Donna & Bob, the Forman's support. But she still needed to be proud of herself. Who she was.

Hyde came into the room just as Jackie closed her suitcase.

"Hey"

Jackie smiled upon seeing Hyde "Hey yourself"

"Um, can we talk for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure"

"I talked to Red & Mrs. Forman. If you want to, you can stay with me in the basement."

"Are you asking me because you feel guilty about what happened?"

"No"

"Steven, I tried to kill myself. Partly over you and what we had become. And now, you guys are afraid for me to be by myself. In case I try again."

"No. I mean, yeah, I feel guilty about what I did to you over the past few months. But I just thought it'd be easier for you to figure out what you wanted to do next. In a safe environment. With people who love you. Not because we're afraid to have you be alone"

"You know, I'm never doing that again."

"I know. You promised."

"I'm just taking things slow right now."

"Slow is good. I like slow"

"Steven…"

"Hey, I never said I was a saint, innocent of a lascivious thought"

"Some saints were sinners you know"

"Well, that'd be me. Can you handle staying in the same room as a sinning saint?"

"Just look at me as a fallen angel…"

"Oh babe, you say the nicest things"

With that, Hyde moved towards Jackie. They had held each other, professed their love, apologized for the past pain, their actions and hurt feelings. But he hadn't kissed her. Not a real kiss. Lots of sweet pecks and gentle caresses. On her lips, her forehead, her hand – but not an earth shattering, mind blowing, feel it in your knees passionate kiss. He was going to change that right now.

Hyde put his arms around Jackie's waist and pulled her tight to him. He leaned into her, guiding his lips towards her mouth. That beautiful mouth. She anxiously parted her lips, ever so slightly and closed her eyes in anticipation of what was going to happen. Hyde moistened his lips and the moment they touched Jackie, it was like a thunderbolt had struck them both. Soon, they were both clutching each other in a desperate attempt to remain vertical. All the passion, the pain and the love they felt for each other was coming out of their lips.

Needing to come up for air, Jackie slightly pulled away from Hyde

"We've got a lot of work to do yet"

"Yeah….I didn't want to do it in a hospital bed anyway."

"I might have." With that, Jackie took her purse and opened the door to the hallway and stared walking away, but not before giving Hyde a wink and a hair flip.

Hyde shook his head, trying to shake the cobwebs loose and remain focused on "taking things slowly." Things weren't going to be easy. They were going to be very, VERY hard – especially with Jackie staying in the basement. He smirked to himself as he picked up Jackie's suitcase and started after her. He wouldn't have it any other way.

Return to Top


	9. Reunited

Jackie sat on the basement couch, like she had done a million times before. Hyde had gone to Grooves for a few hours to check on things. He didn't want to leave her; he had barely left her side in the day or so she had been back. In the basement, watching TV on the couch. Except now, while she sat there, she couldn't help thinking that she should be grateful for being alive to be there. Sitting on, what she used to refer to as a smelly, old couch. And what she couldn't help thinking of now, as the largest piece of furniture in some of her happiest memories.

She was grateful to be alive, but still got scared. What would happen if she & Steven had a fight? That part was inevitable. Would they break up? Would she still feel so miserable that she tried suicide again? Would he talk to her before things got out of control?

She figured that talking was the only way to solve anything. Now it was just a matter of whether or not he would listen. Steven didn't like talking about his feelings. No, it was more like he didn't know how to talk about his feelings. He'd gotten better at it, but it was difficult just the same.

Jackie smirked to herself, "like you're any better at communicating your feelings." Instead of talking to those who cared about her, she swallowed 60 pills to end the pain. "So much for being a great communicator."

But in fairness to them both, since her hospitalization, they had both been doing better communicating. Steven has been so attentive, she thought. So worried, so loving. It sucked that it took something like this to bring out the nurturing side of him. And they had both started having those difficult conversations with each other. About Chicago. About Sam. About her suicide attempt.

Sometimes the conversations just went in circles….

"I didn't sleep with Michael"

"I know that now"

"So why didn't you stay"

"I was angry, so I left"

"Well, you shouldn't have"

"And you shouldn't have left without hearing my answer to your ultimatum"

They were both guilty on all charges with that one.

"I know why you stayed married to Sam. You didn't want to be like Bud. You wanted to be the 'honorable' guy who did the right thing. But after she was gone, why didn't you try?"

"I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want me to be hurt anymore. And I'd been such an ass, I was too afraid to try to get you back. Everything hurt."

"You knew I still loved you"

"I didn't know anything at that point. You thought you were hung up on Fez. And I couldn't see you caring about me after everything that I'd done. I really didn't know how you still felt until I read your note."

So as Jackie sat there, deep in her own self-analysis while watching program after program run by, she realized something.

She & Steven could have gone the rest of their lives without knowing how the other one felt about each other. And that was something that could never happen again.

"Hey" Hyde came in through the basement door. "How have things been?"

Jackie jumped up and ran into Hyde's arms "Baby, I love you" as a tear came down her cheek.

"Hey, doll….what's the matter?"

"I was thinking, about that we could have spent the rest of our lives being miserable, all because we….were scared and couldn't tell each other how we felt. How we still feel."

"I know. I know" Hyde smoothed the back of her hair and kissed her lips gently. "We almost lost each other. Forever. And I'd never forgive myself for losing you."

"No matter what, I'm never giving up on us again."

"No matter what, I'm never giving up on us again. Either."

Hyde pulled Jackie tight against his chest. He could feel her breathe (a feeling he never got tired of), and he could hear her crying as he rubbed her back. "Please don't cry, Jackie"

Jackie pulled away from Hyde's tight embrace, knowing that he never could stand to see her upset. Except this time, they were happy tears.

"I need you. I can't imagine my life without you. I love you."

Hyde never claimed to understand women. And he wasn't sure that he'd ever COMPLETELY understand how the female mind works. Happy tears, what the hell was that about? But he was pretty sure, he'd never hear sweeter words in his lifetime.

"Jackie, if I've learned one thing from the past year or so, is that you are everything to me. I can't function without you. And I'll spend the rest of my life making the past up to you."

"No."

"No?"

"You can spend the rest of your life making me as happy as you've made me right now. But we have to let go of the guilt. The pain. From Chicago, from Sam, from my suicide attempt…." Her voice trailed off a bit. She didn't like saying that word very much. But they had to start healing. "We can't forget, because if we forget we can't learn from what happened. But we can't keep reliving it either. We'll just keep going around in circles."

Hyde just looked at Jackie. Dumbstruck. When the hell did she get so damn smart? He pulled her back to him and attacked her mouth with kisses, then moving on to her neck. Oh God, had he missed this. He looked at her eyes. Those beautiful, mismatched eyes.

Hyde took Jackie by the hand and pulled her back to his room. Red & Kitty were still at work and Eric was somewhere off with Donna. And he needed to be with Jackie. Completely with her.

He locked the door behind them, and looked at her with so much love, Jackie thought she was going to burst. They hadn't really done anything, some making out, but they hadn't had sex since she had gotten out of the hospital. And they both needed this. Physical had NEVER been a problem for them. But emotionally, they knew they should wait. Until the time was right. And things had never been as right as they were right now.

The first kiss melted into another kiss, as their tongues explored each other's mouths. As the passion grew between them, the space between them became non-existent. Slowly, they moved as one towards the tiny cot in Hyde's room.

Hyde gingerly took off Jackie's platform heels, loving every minute of seeing her pink toenails. Jackie looked at him with a devilish smile, beckoning him to close the gap between them. He pulled off his boots in two seconds flat, judging by how far they flew across the room.

She grabbed his T-shirt, and pulled him closer to her. As he began kissing her neck and gently biting her ear lobe, she had never been on such a high. He was intoxicating. And she needed more. More of him.

_The next morning….._

Hyde awoke after a brief nap to Jackie, nuzzled up against him. They had made the most of their time alone together. All four times, Hyde thought to himself with a grin reminiscent of a Cheshire cat. They hadn't gotten much sleep, and he did not care.

He wasn't going to move. He wasn't going to bother with anything. Just being there, with strawberry scented hair sprawled across his shoulder & bicep. He drank in the aroma that was still present. Jackie began to stir, and pulled him tighter to her.

"Mmmm…Hi"

"Hi yourself." He gave her lips a gentle kiss. She was still an acrobat in the bedroom and HAD to be sore today after the previous night. "How do you feel?"

Jackie gave him a deliciously wicked smile. "Very, very happy…couldn't you tell?"

"Didn't want to sound like a jerk, but oh, hell yeah. I just wanted to make sure you weren't too sore. We might have to do a repeat performance later."

"Repeats are always good. That way you get to experience the best parts more than once."

They leaned into each other for a searing but delicate kiss.

"Steven"

"yeah, baby?"

"I'm hungry"

"Me too" He leaned in closer to give some attention to her beautiful neck.

Jackie let out a giggle and a squeal of delight as Hyde gently nipped at various places on her neck. "I know….but we need to eat….food"

"I know, come on, we'll raid the fridge upstairs and then pick up a couple of things for tonight."

As the lovers sat up on the tiny cot, they couldn't help laughing at the clothing strewn about the tiny room. It honestly was spread from one end of the tiny room to the next. They playfully chased each other, looking for various items that had ended up in very strange spots. Jackie found her bra dangling by some cement blocks near the outside wall and Hyde's socks had ended up attached to the furnace vent.

After getting cleaned up and dressed, they headed upstairs to see what they could grab quickly, before the need to be together again was too great. They hadn't eaten anything last night because they were too distracted being together.

Jackie & Hyde put together a couple of plates for themselves to eat and moved over to the table. Just as Jackie was about to sit down next to Hyde, he pulled her unto his lap and passionately kissed her.

"You're all mine" he growled as they came up for air.

"Yes I am…and you're all mine"

"Finally" They started kissing again and only stopped when they heard the screen door open to Eric's (still girlish) shriek.

"Good God, you two"

"Good stuff man, can't keep my hands off of her" Hyde leaned back in the chair, and kept running his hands on Jackie's thighs while she started eating.

"As long as you're not putting anything else on her while you're sitting there, we'll be okay. Mom & Red still can't get over me & Donna getting it on right there."

"Yeah, that was pretty sweet"

"Where's Donna, Eric?" Jackie asked in between bites.

"She's on her way. Bob had to finish his little speech about why he shouldn't be finding me in her bed every morning."

"Have you ever _not_ gotten caught by him over there?"

"Don't think so. What are you two lovebirds up to today?"

"Oh, I think we'll have plenty of things we're _up_ to today. But first I have to stop by Grooves for a sec. See what they've done to screw things up."

"And I was thinking of having Donna show me around Point Place junior college today. There's a couple of classes I was thinking about taking."

Hyde looked at his tiny doll. "Really?"

"Yeah, I think so. Some fashion merchandising & design classes. I might as well stick to what I know and am good at." Jackie sheepishly looked at Hyde. They hadn't discussed her future career plans, so she wasn't entirely sure what his reaction would be.

"I think that's perfect." Hyde was so proud of her.

"And you can go to work when I'm at class and then we can come home and talk about our day." Jackie was really starting to get excited.

"You can talk, I'm going to watch you bounce around."

"Does everything with you two come back to sex?" Eric asked.

"Pretty much" "What do you expect?"

"I'll leave you two to your breakfast; I think my work here is done for a while." With that, Eric turned and left the kitchen, to head upstairs. It was good to see them so happy together.

"You really think that's perfect. I mean, we didn't really talk much about plans, we talked about some ideas, but I wanted to be sure this was something I could do first."

"Yeah, I do. Doll, you don't have to ask my permission to go to school. We talked about you going to school instead of work and I think that's something you need to do for yourself. Something you'll enjoy."

"Oh, Steven"

"And I want to hear about your day too. I want to be part of your whole life. But I'm still watching you bounce around" He smirked.

"I'll even model my designs for you personally." Jackie leaned in to give Hyde a huge kiss.

"You better."

Hyde & Jackie finished their breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen quickly. By the time Donna arrived, Jackie was giddy with ideas. It was so good to hear her talk about something that made her happy, Hyde thought.

Just before the girls took off for the college, Hyde gave Jackie a delicate kiss. She hugged him, seeming knowing what he was thinking, and whispered in his ear.

"And you make me the happiest of all"

Hyde knew the grin he had on before was back and Grooves wasn't going to be the only stop he made that day.


	10. No Promise Rings

It had been several hours since Hyde had left for Grooves. Jackie had wanted to do something nice for him, in appreciation of what he had been doing for her. Just a little something, so she called the store to see how things were going.

"Grooves"

"Hey. How's it going?"

Hyde let out a sigh. He wanted to be there with his girl, but he had to finish unpacking the latest shipment, since Leo never showed that afternoon.

"Lousy. Randy's working inside and I'm unloading boxes of records and doing inventory. Leo never showed. How are things there?"

"Fine. Just miss you, that's all. I wanted to tell you about school."

Hyde shut his eyes in frustration. "I want to hear all about it. Give me another hour and I should be there."

"Sounds good. I love you."

"Love ya too"

Hyde hung up the phone. He really hoped that he would be out of there in an hour. He wanted to give her the support that he hadn't been giving her in the past. He knew that this was really important to Jackie, and he wanted to be there. Right then & there. Hyde knew that he couldn't be with her every minute of every day. But damn, he wanted to.

As he opened another box, he smiled and couldn't help muttering to himself, "Man, you are so far gone."

_Two hours later…._

Hyde parked the El Camino in the driveway and started towards the basement. He had called Jackie to let her know he was on his way. Things didn't turn out the way he had been planning when he left the house that morning. Although, he did get to talk to W.B….

Hyde pushed the door open to the basement. He was so tired. And he was so surprised. He dropped his coat.

There stood Jackie, near the record player, wearing what appeared to be only one of his button down shirts. There were some candles lit around the basement. And she was holding, a Led Zeppelin album? If hard work made you delusional like this, he would have started years ago.

"Hey"

"Hey yourself" Hyde walked over to Jackie and gave her a quick kiss. He had to check this out further.

"Are you wearing anything under that?" Hyde's eyes were stuck somewhere between Jackie's shoulders & her knees. He was definitely intrigued.

"All in good time, baby….All in good time." Jackie pulled Hyde over to the sofa with one hand while trying to keep him from discovering what was under the shirt with the other.

"I have a surprise for you"

"I love the way you think"

"See" She was so proud. Right in front of Hyde on the coffee table, was some chocolate cake. Hyde laughed to himself. His doll, baking. For him.

"Don't worry, it turned out better than the cookies did. Mrs. Forman helped. I wanted to do something nice for you. Something that showed I was trying hard for our future too. Just like you have been."

"You're amazing." Hyde grabbed Jackie by the cheeks and gave her a deep kiss. As he started to deepen the kiss, Jackie pulled back, which troubled Hyde until he saw the smile on her face.

"Tonight is all about you. Now take your shirt off and lay on the couch, baby." Jackie had her hands on her hips. She was so freakin' hot when she was like this, Hyde thought as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. He sat on the couch and waited for further instructions.

"I said lay on the couch baby, and that's not laying down"

"but my cake…"

Jackie had put a piece of cake on a plate, stuck a fork in it, and placed it on the floor near the end of the couch. "There, you are literally going to have your cake and eat it too." They both laughed and with that, she pushed Hyde over so he was laying down on the couch. He maneuvered to make himself comfortable while having one arm and his head dangling over the side of the couch.

Jackie quickly went back to the record player, after she had made a selection that knew would meet with Hyde's approval – Led Zeppelin IV. She adjusted the volume and turned back around and walked behind the couch, as Hyde enjoyed his cake.

"You know, you're going to be making this cake a lot from now on."

"You really like it?"

"Yeah I do." Hyde didn't think it was the right time to tell her all the different ways he was dreaming up how to use that cake with her. Save those for later. Jackie had her own agenda tonight. So he kept eating.

After making her way around to the end of the couch, Jackie gently straddled Hyde and began to massage his shoulders and back, knowing that he had been having a rough day at the store.

Hyde groaned loudly. He needed this. He really did. After such a crappy day at Grooves, he didn't think he was going to have any energy for tonight. But that was quickly changing. "Oh, Baby. That's so good"

"and your arms. How are those feeling?"

"They need some extra special attention too. Just don't stop" Jackie smiled knowing that she was really helping to relieve some of the tension that he'd been having after dealing with all of those boxes. She got some more massage oil and began to work on those areas next.

Hyde thought he was going into sensory overload. His tunes, what had to be his favorite new desert, a massage and most of all, his girl – his really hot girl – straddling him wearing what he thought was only his shirt. Cursing the fact he still had his jeans buckled, Hyde rolled over while Jackie was working on his lower back.

"I'm not done with your massage yet, baby"

"….don't care. Just need you. All of you."

"This baby, this is what you need?" Jackie slid back down Hyde's chest, so she was directly on top of his hips. She started to unbutton his shirt she was wearing ever so slowly.

Keeping her tightly pressed to him, Hyde guided the two of them to a sitting upright position. Knowing they'd never make it to his room, he adjusted themselves so that he was lowering Jackie unto the couch. He looked down at Jackie; she was such an angel. Every day with her was another gift. One he willingly accepted, but certainly didn't deserve. He knew what he was going to do tomorrow. And it was the first stop he was going to make, before work this time. Just in case he got stuck there late again. She needed to know this. She needed to have this. Hyde kissed his way over to Jackie's ear.

Growling into in ear, "I love you more every day."

He placed more kisses on her neck and then went back to Jackie's ear. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. And I'm going to give you everything you've ever wanted."

With that, Hyde moved back to Jackie's mouth, covering it with his. He looked up at his doll, who had a tear coming down her cheek. She wrapped her legs around his waist, as he kissed that tear away.

"I love you too. So much." Jackie wound her fingers in his curls. She let a smile creep across her face, knowing what she was going to say was going to do to him. "Right now though, I need you…"

As Hyde's trademark smirk crossed his face he groaned "Anything for you doll" as he started towards her mouth again.

It was going to be another long night.

One that had to be the most amazing night of Hyde's life.

During one of the few moments they weren't going at it like rabbits, Jackie told Hyde all about school, where her classes were, what she had to do to apply, and when she could start.

"Do you really think I can do this? I never really thought much about it before."

"I think you can do anything that you set your mind to do. And I'll help you out too. School costs money….So I'll help you out with that."

"What?! I don't expect you to do that…"

Hyde sat up and fought against every heartache that had ever happened to him in his life. He fought off the demons for both of them. He started tracing his finger around Jackie's torso as he talked, watching it intently. He was getting better at talking, but this was different.

"Jackie, baby, listen to me. Umm…The store is doing really well. And, um…Sales are up 10 this quarter alone. So, it's okay. And I want to. For us. And I checked with W.B. yesterday…and….."

"And what" She took his hand in hers and pulled it closer to her heart. She knew that this was big. He wouldn't be tripping over his words otherwise.

"W.B.'s going to stay in Milwaukee. He's giving me the condo. The condo fees are less than what I pay the Formans in rent. And then you wouldn't have to pay your rent, so… And I was thinking that, if you want, if you're ready, maybe you and your stuff could stay there. With me. Permanently." He looked up at her eyes.

"Oh my God….are you saying…."

"Well, I'm doing a pretty stupid job at it, but…you wanna live with me?"

"Steven…oh, yes, yes, I'll live with you." Jackie let out a squeal as she wrapped her arms around Hyde, pulling him on top of her, and then rolling on top of him. "That was so hot….talk about sales returns again…." She was all over him with kisses and guided her hands ever so slowly down his body.

Hyde smiled thinking about that memory, as he pulled his boots on. He was actually getting happy memories. He couldn't help himself. Things were definitely changing. For both of them. He leaned down to Jackie's sleeping form and gave her a gentle kiss. She started to stir slightly and then suddenly slid her arms up around him pulling him down to her mouth.

"Morning….roomie"

"Yeah…." Hyde smiled and leaned down and gave her another kiss. He would never get tired of her kisses. Never. But if he didn't stop her soon, he'd never want to leave. Want to, hell, he didn't want to leave now, but he was going to get there today. For her.

"I have to go make a couple of stops and then head into Grooves. Meet me for lunch?"

"Okay" She sank back farther into the pillow, her hair cascading down her shoulders. "around noon?"

"Sounds good." Hyde leaned in to give her one more kiss before he left. One more steaming hot kiss.

"Okay, I've really got to go here, or I'm never going to go." Hyde pulled away from Jackie, who started in on her trademark pout. Which still worked as good as it ever did.

"One more for the road" He muttered as he pounced on the tiny woman he couldn't live without.

After making out for twenty minutes, Jackie relented and told Hyde that he really, probably should head into Grooves. As Hyde headed towards the door, he realized something.

"Jackie, I haven't told the Forman's yet about us moving into the condo, so I know you're excited, but…"

She looked at him with knowing eyes. She was so amazed that they were actually doing this. And she knew how hard it was going to be to tell the Forman's about him, well both of them, leaving. "I'll wait for you before I say anything….but Donna?"

He smirked, knowing she was bursting at the seams. "You can tell Donna…"

As Hyde left, he could see Jackie's feet kicking in excitement underneath the covers.

_Grooves 12pm_

Jackie came strolling into Grooves wearing the same dreamy smile that she had on when Hyde had left that morning. Hyde lit up the second he saw her come in the store. As Hyde finished up with a customer, Jackie settled into the listening pit, smoothing her skirt and checking to see if she had managed to cover up the multiple marks Hyde had left on her from the two previous nights.

She didn't really care; most of the marks he left were covered by her clothing. It was the whisker burn that made her look like she had a sunburn on both cheeks, her neck and most everything else. She made it work though. Thank God it was summer. But it was all worth it. Every wonderful minute.

"You ready? Randy's got things covered for the rest of the day. So I'm all yours"

He pulled her up to him and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Just the way I like it."

"Let's go"

They drove out to the place their first date was, after hitting the drive thru at Fatso Burger. They just wanted to be together. They had spent so much time apart; every moment was treasured by them both.

After a leisurely lunch and many more kisses in the back of the El Camino, Hyde was just holding Jackie, as they leaned up against the back window. He couldn't believe everything that had happened, in such a short time. They were going to live together. It was fast, but it was right. For both of them. Jackie had been talking about some of her plans to decorate and how Donna had been so happy for them when she told her the big news. Hyde promised that they could stop by and see what furniture W.B. was leaving on the way home. The rest of the day they just stared at the clouds in the sky talking about their future, or were catching up on some of the rest they didn't get last night. But they were always in each other's arms. The entire day.

As the sun began to set, Hyde kissed Jackie's head. "I've got a surprise for you"

"Really, what?" Jackie got a gleam in her eye. She still loved surprises.

"I'm going to tell the Forman's when we get back about us moving into the condo. I just want to start living with you as soon as W.B. hits the road."

"Oh, Steven…"

"But that's not your real surprise." He popped out of the bed of the car and grabbed something from inside the car. Jackie crawled out of the back following her love. She was surprised to see how serious he was when he turned to her.

"Before you went to Chicago, you told me that you needed to know if we were going to get married."

"Steven, "

"I know you don't like to talk about that. Neither do I. Just hear me out, okay." He wanted her just to listen, but not be worried about what he was going to say.

"alright."

"I know that this isn't going to make everything magically perfect. And that there are still things that you're working through. But, you need to have this."

Hyde pulled out a tiny box. Jackie wasn't sure if she was imagining things. But if she hadn't completely taken leave of her sanity, that looked awfully like a jewelry box. Jackie started to feel light headed and had to focus on her breathing.

Hyde couldn't help himself "Don't get your hopes up too much, this isn't what it looks like."

Hyde opened the box, which held a beautiful sapphire & diamond ring, the stones were shaped like flowers. The diamonds were the center of two flowers, and the sapphires were petals around the flowers. Jackie had never seen anything more beautiful in her life. Except for him. The day she woke up in the hospital and saw his loving face looking at her. And every day that she was in his arms. They had been through so much. But now they were working on it. Together. She looked at those beautiful eyes of his. So blue, but so full of love. For her. And this time, she knew it.

Hyde swallowed hard, "This is, well, a Hyde and Jackie ring. We're not ready for an engagement ring and…no one we know does well with promise rings. So I had to go with something different. But the meaning is just the same. And that someday, when we're ready, I'm going to ask you to marry me. And then I'll put the biggest diamond Point Place has ever seen on that tiny finger of yours…If you'll have me."

"Oh my god, baby, of course I'll have you. I'll wear your ring and anything else you'll let me." Jackie covered her mouth with her right hand and extended her trembling left hand towards Hyde.

Hyde took the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger. Hyde knew that he would never forget the look on Jackie's face as long as he lived. Shocked, excited, completely blown away, and love. So much love. She may have been the one who attempted suicide, but they both had scars from their troubled pasts. Scars that were starting to heal with each other's love and support. She was the world to him and he was getting a lot better at telling her that.

"Now whenever you see this ring, I want you to remember how much I love you, even if I say the wrong thing. Especially, when I say the wrong thing. I'm still me you know."

"Steven, are you really sure about this? I don't want you to think that I'm pressuring you in some way. I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for…" Jackie reached up and gently stroked his face. She wanted that ring more than anything in the world. But she wanted it on his terms. Not because she gave him an ultimatum. Look where that had gotten them.

"For me to be saying all this, I'd better be." They both laughed.

Hyde got very serious and took Jackie in his arms. "Jackie, I love you. I'll always love you. I just wanted you to know that I meant what I said. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. And I want to give you everything you've ever wanted."

Tearfully, Jackie grabbed Hyde and pulled him towards her mouth. "You already have" She kept murmuring in between kisses

"I love you so much Steven…I just want to make you so happy. Always. I want to make a real home for you….And take care of you. Just us being there for each other, like our families had never been. I want to be your family…and make our own family. Oh baby, I want to make you so happy."

As she talked, Jackie was pulling Hyde into the bed of the El Camino, wanting to show him how happy she was. _This_ was making love. As Hyde slid his hands down the sides of Jackie's body and they leaned back into the bed of the El Camino, He looked her in the eye and told her the same thing she had told him,

"You already have….You already have."


	11. Time to leave the basement

Hyde & Jackie drove back into Point Place to stop by, what was soon going to be, their new home. W.B. met them at the door, and the three sat down to discuss matters. After discussing what he's taking with him, Jackie and W.B. really started getting into the final details. Hyde just kept listening; this was more of Jackie's department.

"Jackie, I know that this really doesn't matter to Steven, I think he's barely conscious at this point, but there's some paint and carpet samples over on the table. Just make whatever changes you want; make this place yours. And have them send the bill to my office."

"I don't know what to say…"

"Well, that'll be a first. And if I hadn't said it before." W.B. walked over to Jackie and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Welcome to the family."

Jackie's mouth could have dropped, she was so touched. And excited. "Thank you, W.B. It means so much to both of us. Steven, let's go look around some more. I need to see how much closet space I'm going to give you."

"Nice to know my t-shirts will have a home. I was beginning to think they might have to stay in storage with all the disco crap that is NOT going in our bedroom."

"I thought you didn't care what décor we had."

"I'm not living in a disco palace. A cool, hard rockin' pleasure pad. That's what I had in mind."

They both stopped when they entered the bedroom. It was starting to sink in. This was going to be their room. And instead of them spending their nights on a tiny, old cot, they both stared at what they were going to be sleeping on.

Jackie giggled. "That's a bed"

"No, bed's are bed's. THAT's a bed. A really BIG bed."

"It's a king sized bed! Steven, a king sized bed…for us."

"Yeah, you're going to be knocked up within hours of us moving in here, if you're not already."

"We have been pretty busy…." Jackie sexily stroked Hyde's arm, and then started pulling him towards her.

Hyde wrapped his arms around Jackie and pulled her tight against him. So she could feel what just her slight touch would do to him. "Busy….baby, you give new meaning to 'up all night' and I'm not complaining. Not at all."

"You think about me getting pregnant?"

"Yeah. I mean, not tomorrow, but…yeah." Hyde thought he was probably blushing. He was going to have to grow the beard back.

"Me too." Jackie stood up on her toes and gave Hyde a quick kiss.

"Thought you probably did. You had our china patterns picked out by the time I made it to third base with you."

Jackie pretended to be shocked. "That's not true…It was by the time Eric & Donna caught us in the basement."

"Oh yeah, I remember." Hyde leaned in to give Jackie a passionate kiss as his hands started to work their way up towards Jackie's chest.

"Mmm….I hope you can handle doing in a bed instead of a cot."

"Jackie, the way we've been going at it, you're eventually going to be the death of me. But I'm going out with a smile on my face. I've waited too long to have you…We're not stopping. And we're christening every inch of this place the second we can…bed or no bed." He couldn't get enough of her.

"Shower or no shower…." Jackie gave Hyde the smile she saved only for him, grabbed his hand and led Hyde off towards the bathroom.

All the expression left Hyde's face. "I love you…"

Upon entering the bathroom, both Hyde & Jackie were at a loss for words. They had both forgotten that W.B. had a whirlpool tub in his master bath.

Hyde picked up Jackie and started towards the tub. Jackie let out a loud squeal, followed by laughter that was heard through out the condo...and by the current occupant.

"You two kids, no freaky stuff in my tub until I'm out of here. I'm still a father, you know."

They answered W.B. together, "Yes, sir" and then laughed knowingly at each other.

_Forman kitchen….later that evening_

Hyde and Jackie came in through the side door. They both dreaded having this conversation with Red & Kitty, but now was as good a time as any, to paraphrase Red, to drop the bomb.

"Hi, you two. Did you have a good day?" Damn, Kitty was in a good mood, Hyde thought. Hyde didn't want to spoil her evening. He loved the Formans more than his own family. For that matter, they were the only family he'd ever really known. He didn't want to hurt them.

"Do you guys have a second….to talk" Hyde squeezed Jackie's hand for support. She squeezed his hand back. He'd never get through this without her. He sat on the stool by the counter and wiped his other palm on his pants, trying to get up the courage to continue.

"Um, well…W.B.'s going to be moving to Milwaukee. And he's, uh….giving me the condo. So, when things are ready, me & Jackie are gonna move in there."

Red & Kitty looked at each other. They had been expecting Steven to move out. They really didn't think he'd live in the basement forever. And they were happy that he & Jackie were happy together.

Jackie looked at Hyde, and then at his surrogate parents. "We just want to start building out lives. Together. And we hope that we'll have your support."

Kitty looked at the two kids. She couldn't love Steven any more had she given birth to him. She'd raised him. And Jackie, she was the one for him. But that didn't mean she wasn't worried about them. "Are you sure that this is something you should do right now? We love you both, we just…".

Jackie knew what she was getting at. She had almost the identical conversation earlier with Donna, and she ended up being happy for them.

"I know you have concerns about me…with me trying to…kill myself. So, we're not going to rush into anything that we can't handle. We're talking things through, I'm going to go to school…for fashion…and if things get rough, I know I should ask for help, not just try to get by myself. And that suicide isn't the answer. Before, I thought I was alone. That I didn't have anyone. No family, no love, and that my friends were all gone. I know differently now. It doesn't mean that everything's solved magically. But I know that I have Steven's love & support. And he has mine. And we'd really like you to be happy for us."

Hyde was so touched by what she'd said. He didn't want to let on in front of Red & Kitty, but it meant so much to him. She always did stick up for them. Which he needed to do now too. "I know how you guys feel about "living together" but when we're ready…we're gonna get married." He smiled at Jackie. This was getting easier, every time he said it.

Kitty was so happy that they had come so far, but she tried to play it down. "No, we're not worried about you living in sin. Heck no, we're with it. We're _cool_."

That was more than Red could handle. "Kitty, stop."

Red stood up and extended his hand to Hyde. "You let us know if you need anything."

Hyde took it, and looked at the man who was more of a father to him than anyone "We will." With that, Red pulled Hyde into a hug. "I'm proud of you two. You've been through a lot together. You've got our support."

Kitty couldn't help crying "My other baby's going to move away." She ran over to Hyde and gave him a hug, while Red went over to Jackie.

Hyde tried to pry Kitty off of him. "Relax, it's just across town…" It didn't help. This was Kitty, after all.

Red grabbed Jackie by the shoulders. "You make sure he takes good care of you."

Jackie smiled. "He will"

"He'd better, or he'll have to deal with my foot so far up his ass he'll wish…."They both started laughing. Leave it to Red to throw in a "foot in the ass" statement at this highly emotional time.

Red looked at Jackie, more seriously than he ever had before. "You take care of _each other_. You hear me."

"We will. Thank you Mr. Forman…Mrs. Forman….for everything."

Kitty finally let go of Hyde, and came over to Jackie, taking her hands in hers and squeezing them tightly. "Hush, sweetheart, we're family. And we'll always be there to help you two."

The rest of the evening was spent discussing the new condo, showing off Jackie's ring, waiting for Bob to catch Eric with Donna (which he did, again!) and Hyde & Jackie making sure they would always remember what it was like to do it on a cot in the basement.


End file.
